Bette Dowdell

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Bette Dowdell

Cervantes said, “Faint heart ne’er won fair lady.” As a matter of fact, a faint heart never won much of anything. But put a little determination and will into that heart, and it can shoot the moon.

What you hear, though, is that parents should prefer the faint heart, that is, the passive heart. It’s promoted as the answer to their prayers. Read the rest of this entry »

Bette Dowdell

Couch potatoes never know what muscles they could build if they spent their couch time at the gym. On the couch, even repetitive bench pressing of the biggest, baddest universal remote won’t build a noticeable muscle.

And the same holds true for exercising our talents. Just as a dedicated couch potato will never know if he has a set of six-pack abs waiting to be liberated, we’ll never develop our abilities without putting in time exercising them. Read the rest of this entry »

Bette Dowdell

We’ve all heard the old saying that goes, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” Now there’s a thought. We surely have to do something with the lemons as they come along.

Sucking on lemons takes the enamel right off your teeth, so we don’t want to do that. Letting them stack up is even worse because they rot, and there’s probably nothing worse than a life of oozy, rotten lemons we haven’t properly dealt with. And it’s not like we can hand life’s lemons off to anybody else. No, these are suck-it-up and deal-with-it lemons. Read the rest of this entry »

Bette Dowdell

The whole world’s in the label business. Every time we turn around, somebody’s jamming a label on us. Not those “Hi, My name is” stick-ums, Not any sort of tangible, visible label, in fact, but psychological Post-It® notes.

Even early on in life, we’re covered with labels. Sometime in our elementary school years, the labels pile up, label on label, for lack of space. By our adult years, we can get bogged down in the multitude of labels. Read the rest of this entry »

Bette Dowdell

You’re not perfect. I’m not perfect. Nobody’s perfect. Give it up.

Nobody likes their nose. Or their knees, for that matter. Everybody finds annoying lumps, bumps and wrinkles, typically invisible to others, in various and sundry locations on their body.

And if you have kids, ideas of perfection go completely out the window. Read the rest of this entry »

Bette Dowdell

Tolerance. It’s a good thing, a socially desirable thing, isn’t it? What could possibly be wrong with tolerance?

I’m so glad you asked. Here’s what’s wrong: The magnificently sold idea of tolerance is, in fact, destroying our highest and best values in life. Twenty-five years ago, had you described our society as it now exists, nobody would have believed that we would ever fall so far. Read the rest of this entry »

Bette Dowdell

So there you are in the middle of one of life’s train-wrecks–dazed, wounded, wondering what shoe–or bomb–will drop next, and up walks Job’s comforter.

You may remember Job from the Bible. A rich, powerful man, a great father and good in every way was Job (pronounced like Joe with a “b” on the end). Then, in a series of overlapping cataclysms, he lost everything and everybody except his wife–who turned out to be a whole lot less than supportive in her changed circumstances. And Job ends up sitting alone on a pile of dirt, scratching his boil-covered body with some broken pottery. Read the rest of this entry »

Bette Dowdell

Babies show the world what selfish looks like. On a whim, they set up a wail loud enough to wake the dead–or at least it sounds that way at 2:00 a.m. No matter that others may be tired or sick or have to go to work. Babies want what they want when they want it. So stop sniveling. Read the rest of this entry »